Tuesday, March 22, 2011

~B's~ Birth Story!

So it's been a crazy Fall and Winter and I haven't Blogged at all... :(  I want to change that from this point forward I really want remember these days because time is just flying by way to quickly...  I have been lucky to be able to stay home with my son this first year of his life... It truly has been the most rewarding and best year... Before I know it my son will be turning 1 year old in May and I wanted to write his birth story before I forget all the details...


I had some difficulties getting pregnant, which included me having to have surgery. Two months later I was pregnant... I had always wanted a natural childbirth (my mother had four natural childbirths and I see that as awe-inspiring, I wanted to be able to do that)... I loved the idea of a home-birth, but due to the previous surgery, I was considered high risk for uterine rupture... I decided to go with a birthing center that was separate from a hospital, but after meeting with them I was told that I was to high risk and they recommended a birthing center within the hospital with a midwife. I went and saw them and I was told that I really should be followed by OB... After much disappointment I chose to stay with my OB (who I loved... but I just wanted it to be very natural)... So I explained to my OB what I wanted... Natural with no intervention... She was fine with that, but she was going to consult with the specialist who did my surgery just a few months earlier...Well knowing that this is what all the other birthing professionals had done previously, I had a bad feeling about this... After a meeting and reviewing my medical record it was decided that the best way to proceed was with a c-section... I was high risk for uterine rupture and that was life threatening... 

I was devastated hearing this... I was still very determined to have a natural child birth... I was considering laboring at home and then going in at the very end so that there would be no choice... or that I would refuse the c-section out right...They can not force me to have it... I was very up front about all this with my OB... I did not hide my distaste and anger over this, and she kept saying a "Healthy Mama and a Healthy Baby is what you want" ....  But I wanted MORE... I wanted the birth that I wanted!!!

When I was like 35 weeks pregnant, I had verbally agreed to have the c-section... In my heart and in my head I had not agreed to it... My husband and I visited the Hospital at this time. We went in with our birth-plan knowing that it was for a c-section... It basically just said that we don't not want anything done to our son that was not medically necessary! I did not want him taken out of the OR... I wanted him and my husband to stay with me the whole time.. I did not want any medications, shots, and creams or even a bath to be done on him until I got to hold him and bond with him...  They gave us a little fight, but in the end they said whatever you want we will do! I felt better, but not completely, I still wanted "my birth"... but at least I knew that I could get what I wanted when it came to my son treatment, as long as I pushed for it!  We scheduled the c-section for May 8th... 

On May 1st at 1:30am, my son had his own plans and my water broke!!! I was so excited, I was going to have my birth!  I phoned the hospital and they said I had time to shower, not to worry just get there as soon as I could and they would be ready for the c-section when I got there! I took a shower and had my husband time the contractions they were three minutes a part and lasting about 30 seconds... By the time we got to the hospital they were two minutes apart and lasting about a minute... So I was definitely experiencing labor! Like I wanted to!

They were ready for the c-section when I got there, and they did not routinely 'check me' for fear of me refusing the c-section if I was far along.... I am sure I could have insisted on a vaginal exam to check how far along I was... But what made me ok with having a c-section at that moment was that I was able to discuss what I wanted regarding my sons care with the OB on call. She completely respected my wishes for my son to stay with me and that nothing that was not medically necessary would be done to him... the same with the NICU team... They were very respectful of our wishes... 

I wanted to delay the bath and all none medically necessary treatment for a few reasons... I knew that with a C-section that I would not be able to hold, nurse or be with my son immediately the way I wanted... Standard procedure would be after being born and having all the initial assessments done, he would be with me for a few minutes and then go with Dad to the nursery, while I was being put back together... There in the nursery he would have a bath and a bunch of other stuff done, like eye medication, Vitamin K shot, HEB B shot.... Even though I was having a c-section I wanted to have those first few hours still be peaceful, quite, and special.... I felt like if the first experience he was going to have after being nice and sung and warm for the past 9 months for it to be a bath and shots and medications that just seemed so harsh and cruel... I wanted to BF first, hold him and just be with him, look at him, hold him skin to skin and I wanted to be the first one to do that!!! So we refused all treatment that was not medically necessary for the first day... 
Also the first two hours after birth are what they call the quite alert period and that's when baby's learn best... I wanted to BF then... If he had a bath right away, he would have been to exhausted to try to BF.... So luckily my son was healthy and needed no intimidate medical treatment and I got exactly what I wanted.... No it wasn't my ideal birth, but it was truly amazing and perfect in it own special way! I don't think I would change a thing!
( I did switch to the OB that delivered my son because she was amazing and so respectful.)

When it comes to birth it doesn't always go as planned... I think that the most important thing is to decide what is most important to you...  and stick with those... Like I had said for us it was my son treatment... I didn't want him to leave me or them to even bathe him... I got to bathe him the next day... He never left our side when he went to the nursery for weight checks and vitals my husband or I went with him... That is what was most important to us... And I couldn't be happier with unwanted C-section!

6 comments:

  1. I can't believe I've never read this until now! It's beautiful and you are such an inspiration mama!! <3

    ReplyDelete
  2. This is a beautiful story, Lani, thank you for sharing. I love how you stood up for yourself and your son while at the same time surrendering to the process and what you felt was best for your health. We hear so many unhappy stories about c-sections; this is a breath of fresh air. I hope more mommas get a chance to read it. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Amy. It was hard to let go, but I would have never forgiven myself if I put us in risk, but I knew that I would not be ok with being another number. For me doing the research before and sticking to what really mattered made it a beautiful experience.

      Delete
  3. Ditto what Amy said. Beautiful story. xo. And it really isn't about HOW we give birth that makes it empowering, it is about never feeling totally out of control; having choices, and advocating for ourselves for those bottom line things that just are not negotiable. Good for you, and I'm so glad you got such a beautiful birth. =)
    I had a C/S too for my first baby. Breastfeeding successfully despite it was my 'non negotiable.' It really redeemed the process for me.

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for commenting!